I always thought Death as a friend.

She has always been here, maybe since I was five or so.
She never leaves.
She is always in the corner starring, gazing
taking such good care of me,
without any threats,
without any conditions.
just using her black cloak as a shield.

Unfortunately, nobody likes Death,
but is not like nobody likes me either.
I think we are similar like that.
We love to just sit in silence and listen to musicians she already took,
while she told me stories about how they went jokingly,
knowingly.

Death did not spare me,
she took friends,
family members,
a boyfriend,
pets.
Death always apologizes:
“I am doing my job,
I don’t want to hurt you
they cannot feel pain anymore
pain is only for the ones breathing”.

But she was in pain,
so much pain,
and she was not breathing.
Death never wanted me,
She kept telling how it was not my time,
how I could still thrive.
Death believed in me.

But I seek Death,
more times than I could count.
She was as close to them as I could be,
and she was as close to me as I could ever be.

These days,
Death took a part of me.
I felt a stab,
I felt the betrayal.
She cried more than I did.
She still here,
quiet,
in silence,
but she won’t ever go away.

I don’t think I want her to go,
but maybe, just maybe,
I am the one jumping inside of her,
and letting her feel
what is like to truly
loose someone.

-sbps.